I’m going to be careful not to give generic, blanket advice that is hard to apply. I know how nuanced relationships can be.
That being said, this newsletter is about timeless wisdom, not advice.
Take from the following what you will. Discard the rest.
To start, you need to get a bird’s eye view of what’s going on. Consider the interactions you’ve had over the past week, month, and year. Would you consider them healthy? Trust your gut here. Don’t try to rationalize what others have done. Your gut feeling is usually the right one when it comes to the relationships in your life.
Once you’ve done that, you need to decide what to do with that information. If you trust your intuition, you’ll usually know what you need to do next. But if you’re still unsure, go to others for help. Find the people you know have your interests at heart and ask them what they think. The information-gathering process is crucial. You need to try to paint a complete picture of what is going on. Bad information leads to bad decisions. Junk in, junk out.
Finally, and this is usually the hardest part, you need to act with the complete resolve of someone who truly loves themselves. You need to realize your worth–and act accordingly.
No one deserves to be treated terribly. No one deserves to be controlled by others. It’s so easy to apply this logic to others, but when it comes to ourselves, we have a very hard time following through.
So this is your sign that you should follow through. Gather the information you need–and likely already have–and then act on it.
Controlling relationships can destroy your mental health.
This is because relationships are one of the primary ways we form our identities.
I have news for you. You get to decide what your identity is.
And you get to decide if there are relationships in your life that need to go.
This is a tough topic that can bring up all kinds of feelings. Take care of yourself. Don’t judge yourself because of your relationships. Just know that you deserve love and respect.
With love and respect,