To ward off the evil spirits, there are some things you need to do.
First, you have to gain awareness of what’s going on. You can’t make a change if you don’t assess the situation to understand how it’s impacting you. So think about your relationships. Are there any that leave you feeling drained more often than not? You can tell if this is happening if you feel worse coming out of a conversation than you did going in.
Ok, good. You’ve thought about that.
Now, consider what it is about the energy-draining conversations that drains your energy. Try to get specific about this. The more specific you can get the better. This is because every person is different, and what drains energy for one person is not going to drain energy for another. We’re all unique little creatures, and we need to know what kind of garlic is going to work for our particular situation.
Some people LOVE listening to others rattle on about their life. Others want to feel heard more often.
Some people LOVE to help others problem-solve. Others want nothing to do with it.
If you can get some specificity about what’s going on in your relationships, you can get some valuable information for how to best navigate them.
Finally, take action based on the information you’ve collected. Once you have good information about your relationships, it’s time to try something new. If you’re worried that you’re stuck in an energy-vampire relationship, it’s time to make a change.
This doesn’t mean you have to flip over a chair and run out the door. Cooler heads prevail.
What it means is that you have a right to get your point across. If you have a good relationship, consider sharing how you’re feeling. Politely state how the one-sided relationship makes you feel.
Or you could simply talk about yourself more. Maybe you aren’t taking enough initiative and your conversation partner is mistaking your inaction for a lack of having anything to say.
Lastly, and this a big lastly, maybe this isn’t the right person for you. Are you supporting this person for the right reasons? Did you get into this work or friend or life relationship out of guilt? Check your motives. If you don’t even know why you’re spending so much time with this person, maybe it’s time to make a change.
Your time is valuable. Your life has meaning. You don’t have to offer up your energy to the vampires because it’s the most convenient thing to do.
Instead, you can be mindful about how you’re spending your time.
The world needs more people like that.
You can be one of them.
Energy vampires beware.