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What if you didn't keep everything to yourself?

A lot of people, especially people who deal with anxiety, keep much of what they think to themselves.
What if you didn't keep everything to yourself?
By Jordan Brown • Issue #74 • View online
A lot of people, especially people who deal with anxiety, keep much of what they think to themselves.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this.
But I noticed something when I stopped doing it.
The world opened up in a really interesting way.

I Used to Live Primarily in My Head
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all!”
Did you ever get that advice as a child?
I did. And it stuck with me, apparently. Because, for years, I lived mainly in my head.
Call it anxiety. Call it social pressure. Call it whatever you want. Just don’t call me out of the blue. Because I’m not answering. That’s the kind of anxious feeling that still lingers for me.
I’m making big changes in another way, though. I’m sharing more of what’s on my mind. But I’m doing it in a selective way–and it’s made a big difference.
Before I explain, I want to ask you something. Are you ever in a public place–maybe a coffee shop or a grocery store–and you notice something interesting about someone? Perhaps it’s their shirt. Or maybe it’s a clever way that they move or talk. What you probably didn’t do was say something to them about it.
I definitely didn’t. But now I do. The key here is that I do this selectively. And, I’ll tell you what: it’s one heck of a powerful approach.
My anxious brain used to tell me to keep my mouth shut if I had an observation that felt important to me. “No one cares about what you think,” my brain would tell me. But that’s not entirely true. If you make selective comments, people do care. And they care a lot.
This is what I mean.
Positive Thoughts Lead to Positive Comments
I’ve started to make positive observations about what I see.
Because, as I’ve found, comments that I thought were minor and silly actually mean the world to others.
“I really like your coat.”
“The music in here is great. Did you pick it?”
“I see you all the time. How long have you worked here?”
“You’re always so helpful.”
These are all statements I chose not to say before, but now I say them. And you know what? It starts conversations! It gets me known as a regular in places. It shows people that I’m curious, that I actually care about them and how they are feeling.
It shouldn’t be creepy. Don’t say, “Hey, I like that you wore that one ring on your left index finger and now you have it on your right middle finger….hahhhh.” That would be awkward…
Just make simple, positive statements about others.
If something is intriguing to you, it’s probably important to someone else.
Give it a try today.
You never know what might happen next.
What do you think? Is this something you would do? Have you done it? How has it worked for you?

Thinking of You,


P.S. I’m upgrading the members’ community. It will be ready in about 1.5 days. Also, I updated the members’ benefits page. Thank you to all of you who already became members. You know who you are. :)
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