We now know that the brain doesn’t exist in a fixed state. It can change over time.
Neurons that were wired one way can rewire to go another way. All it takes is consistent action in another direction.
This is what I recommend that you do.
Try to catch yourself when you are thinking or saying extreme statements–statements like “This is impossible” or “This is never going to work” or “My mother-in-law is the most evil person in the world.”
Awareness is what helps break the cycle. Once you notice what you’re doing, now I want you to think about what you were doing right before you had those thoughts. And also think about what you did right after you had those thoughts. It’s likely a pattern you’ve played out over and over.
Now, here’s the big switcharoo. And it’s easier said than done.
I want you to STOP doing what you’re doing. You have to pick new actions. If you’ve done something so much that you’ve wired your brain into an extreme state, you need to choose new actions that will wire your brain in a better, more functional way.
Do whatever you can to change the pattern. Keep a notebook nearby so that you can write down the old action and list NEW actions right next to it. Write down a couple ideas. Read them over and over, so the next time you get into never-going-to-work mode you can select a new action to try.
Believe me, this is effective. You just have to remember to do it.
Long story short, “Nothing is working” is a lie that your brain tells you.
It’s convenient for your brain, but it’s not convenient for you. To change this, you need to change your reality. And to change your reality, you need to change your actions.
It’s totally doable, but it requires awareness.
So start the process. Notice where you slip up. Don’t beat yourself about it. Just smile and thank your silly brain for keeping your ancestors safe from danger. And then choose a path that’s more fitting for this modern reality we live in.
You can change your brain and, in time, change your reality.