Humans are wired for connection. We think that we can go it alone, but we need others to survive.
We need to see ourselves in the eyes of others.
And this is precisely what happens. Relationships don’t just help us get what we need from an emotional, physical, or even monetary perspective. Relationships help us form our very identities.
You can think that you have a perfect understanding of who you are, but then step out into the world–and watch it change. It’s a humbling experience.
You can work as hard as you want to craft the perfect identity behind closed doors, but what if no one believes that about you? What if others don’t care as much about your perfect identity as you do?
Sadly, this is reality. For the mast majority of people, their area of focus falls squarely on themselves, not others. We are our own favorite subjects.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but we discover who we are in relation to others. Children have grandiose ideas about their status and potential only to find out that there are many, many more children in the world.
And so the process begins. Suddenly, we are immersed in the words, thoughts, and stories of those around us. We are woven into the design of other people’s tapestries. In essence, we become part of other people’s realities. And this must inevitably warp the views we hold of ourselves.