1. It Only Takes One Person to Disappoint
Think about this. You can feel like you’re letting others down when you’re actually not.
You can feel like you’ve disappointed the world when the world doesn’t even know what you’re talking about.
This is a crucial concept to keep in mind.
Anxiety is a tricky foe, and it can insert thoughts in your mind that have no basis in reality.
But what if there is some truth to what you’re feeling?
Even then, it’s probably not as bad as you think.
2. Fear-Setting: What’s the Worst that Could Happen?
Our brains evolved to keep us alive–not to manage a hundred tasks on a to-do list.
Our ancestors had to be on the lookout for finding enough food to live, and they had to make sure they didn’t get attacked by a wild beast during the food-finding process.
Yikes. That’s a worst-case scenario if I’ve ever heard one.
You and I, though?
We have it easy compared to our ancestors.
But our brains don’t know that!
Our brains were built during a different time.
I’ve talked about fear-setting
in another issue, but the gist of it is that you take a piece of paper, you write down all your concerns, and then you write the absolute
worst-case scenarios for what could happen if things spin out of control.
What ends up happening is that you realize that the worst-case scenario is not that bad–and is actually quite survivable.
3. You Create Your Levels of Disappointment
Not all disappointment is created equal. My wife reminds me of this important fact frequently. I’m glad she does.
Letting my wife down is more important than letting someone at work down.
Letting someone at work down could be more important than letting someone else down in another area of your life.
For you, that might not be true.
But you create the hierarchy, not anyone else.
What I know is that significant others and family have to come first.
When I’ve disobeyed this rule, I feel it. My loved ones let me know.
And I know in my heart that my priorities aren’t right.
If you’re having trouble building your hierarchy to come up with your levels of disappointment, I suggest this simple rule:
Put the ones who have been with you the longest first.
My wife has been by my side through heart surgery, mental health crises, family issues, and work changes.
People at work?
While I often think of them as family, the timeline of our relationship is considerably shorter.
Give love to the ones who love you most.
I’m still studying this important concept, and I likely always will be.