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Ever feel worthless? (3 minutes to mindset change)

Ever feel worthless? (3 minutes to mindset change)
“I have no value. I’m worthless.”
Have you ever had these thoughts?
We don’t always like admitting that we have, but if we’re being honest, we have had these thoughts.
Where do these thoughts come from?
How can a person slip into the darkness so easily?
I’m going to quickly address these questions, and then help you see the bright side of the darkness.

If You Feel Worthless or Without Value
Let’s start with question one:
Where do these thoughts come from?
A lot of places, actually.
There’s no one easy answer.
But the reality is this: we all have these dark thoughts as part of us–they just don’t always come to the surface.
Carl Jung called it our Shadow Self, and I think that’s a great starting point.
You’re not a bad person if you have bad thoughts. That would be like getting mad at yourself for having an arm or leg attached to your body.
And the next question:
How can a person slip into the darkness so easily?
For me, it happens when I’m feeling stretched too thin. Or when I’m feeling pushed into a corner.
Either of these circumstances has a crushing–or size-limiting–effect.
I believe our natural state is more of the one we had when we were children–vibrant and full of life. Ready to explore the world and take in whatever it is we see and feel.
When the world gets to be too much, we find ourselves diminished, and the darkness surrounds what is normally our full and vibrant self.
Finding the Bright Side of Life Again
You don't need to provide all the light just by yourself.
You don't need to provide all the light just by yourself.
Finding the bright side again is no easy task, especially if you’ve been shrouded in darkness for a while.
But it’s there.
Rather than give you a list of steps, I’ll share a story about something I’m going through.
My wife and I found out about two weeks ago that our condo is being sold out from under us. The landlord is not a bad person–he’s actually very kind–but he’s had one heck of a year during this pandemic and he needs to sell quickly.
So now we’re forced to find a new place in a community with a .8% vacancy rate. During a pandemic.
It’s extremely stressful, and we’re both feeling worthless and overwhelmed as we struggle to find stability.
But there is a bright side.
For us, it’s in our connections.
We know we have no hope of finding an apartment in the traditional way.
So we showed our vulnerability to our connections, both personal and professional, and asked for help.
And their desire to help has given us a precious few leads that might actually work out.
That desire to help is bringing the light back in for both of us.
What I’m saying is this: when we felt we had no hope in this situation, we had to reach out to others who could help, who had access to situations that we didn’t.
There’s no rule stating that you have to be entirely responsible for bringing light back into your life.
After all, it was the wise Rumi that said:
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
“What you seek is seeking you.”

Boy oh boy, what a world we mental health travelers live in. If you have a tendency to feel down, like most of us with mental health challenges do, just know that all feelings shift and change over time.
Hang in there. Stay strong. Reach out for help. Even when you don’t feel like it.


P.S. Are you on a mailing list of kind folks who might benefit from my emails? Could you share this–or any of my issues–with them? I put hours of work into The Mental Health Update each week, and I primarily rely on the kindness of my subscribers to grow this labor love. If I’ve helped you, I would appreciate the support. Thank you so much.
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Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

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