Over time, I’ve learned that no person is the worst thing they’ve done. And remember, worst is relative, so what is the worst for one person may not even be on the radar of another person.
It’s important that you don’t minimize what you’re feeling.
If you’re gripped by negative thoughts that are making you hate yourself, it’s time to make a change.
It starts with dislodging yourself from mental ruts.
The best way I’ve found to do this is by getting out of my head and into my body and feelings.
This will look different for different people, but one of the most effective ways I’ve found that works for all kinds of people involves taking out a piece of paper.
What you need to do is write down as many accomplishments you can think of, in as much detail as you can provide.
Start with whatever comes to mind.
There’s great power in getting words onto paper because what you’re actually doing is releasing them from your mind.
And when you release your thoughts by actually moving your hand as you’re writing them down, you tap into different parts of your body.
You see, you can’t think your way out of horrible thoughts. I made this mistake for so many years.
It’s like trying to be rational with someone who is acting irrationally.
It just doesn’t work.
In this case, the irrational person is you–or, to be more specific–it’s your devious mind.
Continue to write down as many accomplishments as you can.
It doesn’t matter if you can only think of, “Well, I brushed my teeth today…”
You know what?
And I bet you brushed more than one tooth. You could have stopped at one, but you brushed all of them.
From there, move to bigger accomplishments.
How did you get to this point in your life?
How did you survive so many difficult situations?
That wasn’t luck. You had an active role in that.
Write it all down, and fill in the detail as you go.
The reason I’m having you do this is because believing and feeling that you can’t forgive yourself is common.
People get themselves worked into this state of being all the time.
I was there.
I still go into that state if I’m being honest.
But I know that if I can work myself into a negative state, I can work myself out of it.
And you can too.