This is the tricky part.
To stop feeling like a failure, you first need to stop and think about something. You have to ask yourself a question.
Ask yourself: “Is it even reasonable that I’m feeling this way?”
So often, we put pressure on ourselves that shouldn’t even be there in the first place. We decide we need to be a certain way when, in reality, we could just BE. What I mean by this is that we often say, “I need to be happy when this happens” or “I should feel this way when I get this job.”
But “shoulds” don’t lead to happiness; only being present in the moment–in your life–does.
When you apply judgment to your life, when you prescribe a certain feeling that you think you should have, you immediately set yourself up for failure. You are predicting a response over which you have little control.
This is What to Do Instead of Feeling Like a Failure
Keep in mind, like I always say, that not all solutions I suggest will apply to your life. You’re going to have to tailor them to do what makes the most sense for you. Still, we’re talking about universal principles here.
Use an action plan to align your goals and your values with your actions.
What does this mean?
It means that you know your life best. You know what you want to accomplish. Rather than doing what others want you to do, think about the logical steps you need to take, and the core values you hold deeply, to put together an action plan.
Now, an action plan does not need to be a 40-page notarized document that you spend 20 hours on. It can be one page. In fact, it should probably be as simple as possible. It just needs to serve as a guiding light, to get you moving in a direction that feels right for you.
And if you write down a one-page action plan and it doesn’t work, you can always take five minutes and scribble down a new one. Simple plans can always be revised.
On one side of the plan, write your values.
These are the deep beliefs you have about what is true in the world–for you. Next to each value, if you can, write a goal that you have that connects with that value. It can be a weekly goal, or a monthly goal, or whatever. What’s important is that it’s meaningful–to you.
Then, as you move across the sheet, write down three simple actions you can take that will move you closer to accomplishing that goal. Try to get up to three. As you come up with more ideas, you’ll probably realize there is one specific action that makes the most sense to tackle next.
The magical thing you’ll realize as you go through this process is that you know a lot more than you think you do. You’re actually on top of your life and know what you want to do.
Taking time for yourself in this way is an escape. It’s freedom from the madness of the fast-moving world.
We all need freedom like this. We all need to take time to get our priorities straight.
And what’s great about this approach is that there is enough flexibility built in for you to make it your own.
Because so much of feeling like a failure is imposed by others and by societal pressure.
At the end of the day, you are the one who gets determine if you are a failure or not. No one else can do that.
I know that no person is a failure. We are all human beings doing our best in life.
Now it’s time for you to realize that for yourself.